


Lust Actually

by ThatwasJustaDream



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: 1_million_words, Holiday Fic Exchange, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:42:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Kaige68, her gift fic for the Swap of Joy on the 1_Million_Words comm! Steve's a bit of a name in the porn industry, Danny's his 'partner.' They've been working together a few months when it hits them like a wave. Not Lust - they've had plenty of that together already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaige68](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaige68/gifts).



“Awww… fu _uuc_ k, yeah…. yessss…..” Danny groaned and hissed and groaned some more, head tipping back. He was straddling the wide, padded arm of the black leather sofa, ass half off it as he thrusted - an arm behind him, bracing, hips fighting the strong hands holding him in place.

He liked it when Steve wore his hair longer; long enough to grab it and… _pull_ right about now. He’d shown up close shorn today, though, so Danny was glad to settle for grappling with him instead, fingers digging hard against the back of his neck, his head, a shoulder, moving constantly as Steve went down deeper and Danny demanded _more_ , now, _more_.

Steve grunted loudly when Danny’s manhandling got rougher; started moving up and down faster, cheeks hollowing out deeply. Then he slowed it all down – humming and drawing back, spitting Danny out slowly, giving him an evil, teasing press of his tongue all the way up his dick.

Steve’s eyes flew up, too, to watch him; a sweet sight from where he knelt on the gleaming blonde wood floor—Danny half gone, his shirt stripped back and tugged down behind him, the sleeves still over his wrists. An undone bow tie was hanging around his bare neck. The marks Steve had sucked into his collarbone and his chest stood out under a manicured field of blonde fuzz, and were almost as bright as his well-sucked cockhead.

Danny’s tuxedo trousers lay pooled by his ankles. Steve was in similarly stylized disarray – pants gone but his shirt and jacket still hanging from one shoulder and arm, like he hadn’t had the time or patience to rip them fully off when he’d screwed Danny over the back of the sofa.

It was classic ‘fancy-party bartender does his boss repeatedly once the guests leave’ and, yeah, those were fun shoots to be part of; nice clothes, beautiful apartments, good champagne - and tonight a panoramic view over the City of Angels. 

“Cut!” The shout from the director came a split second after Steve went back down on Danny so he mostly heard why; someone to his left stumbling, tripping, swearing. A camera guy caught a light stand with his foot, throwing shadows over them. 

Steve’s left forearm flew out as he stood to block the stand from falling at them. His opposite hand pumped Danny steady and fast, thumb going to the head of his cock to swipe back and forth and back, to finish him off.

Danny groaned softly; out of need, now, instead of for the camera. He bucked when the orgasm hit him, lay back on the sofa arm, the sounds he made so thankful.

The light stand stayed up. Production assistants jumped in, delivering the usual stack of wet wipes and towels along with the sweats and tees the two of them wore between takes.

“When you keep on going after I yell ‘cut…” the director snapped at Steve on his way by. “That’s playing, not working.”

“Seriously? Go to hell, Jeff,” Steve managed to say it in a tone that conveyed he wasn’t kidding without being snide or too aggressive. 

Danny noted it again; how Steve kind of ran the production house, even though he was _merely_ an actor - and the staff all got it. It was one of the first things he’d come to like about him; as much as the two of them bickered and bantered, Steve always stood up for the people he worked with.

“How about you go home and you have your girl get you to where you’re two point five seconds from losing your mind? Then have her stop and go for a glass of water.” Steve added. “See how much you don’t like it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Sorry,” the director grumbled. Then he walked away to look for the person who had kicked the light stand in the first place.

“That guy…” Danny pulled on his clothes while they waited for order to be restored. “What the hell’s up with him?”

“Don’t worry– he’s only vacation relief,” Steve did the same, then used the sofa for its manufactured purpose; settling in all loose and content, hands on his thighs and looking up at Danny. “They only call him when they have no choice.”

“Figured that,” Danny wandered over to the snack table and grabbed a water, brought one back for Steve. “I haven’t met him the whole six months I’ve been doing projects here.”

“Has it been that long?”

“Yup – and I’ve saved almost as much as I set out to. I might take a break, make this a more occasional thing. Been meaning to tell you, but somehow I never… Anyway, I don’t know, we’ll see. Hey, my girl’s having spa day with a friend. Want to grab a beer or two once they spring us?”

“I’d like to, but I’ve got a couple more shoots tonight. Not anything like this..…”

Steve stopped there, flinching.

“C’mon, what can possibly be so embarrassing you don’t want to tell me?”

“No, no it’s not …it’s... I’m doing a shoot for an online catalogue. Shirt modeling.”

“As in one of those guys standing there like so,” Danny struck a pose, pretending to fasten a cuff link. “You know, looking so content with your purchase, like there’s never been a better garment in the history of shirts? Or maybe you’ll be sitting on a stool, contemplative and dramatic, staring at your feet like ‘I’m so conflicted about my shirt?’”

“Yeah, like that pretty much. Then after that… oh, God, I can’t even say it.”

“Spill. Or I’ll take it out on your pretty hide the next bondage shoot.”

“A romance novel cover. Okay? I’m going to a photo shoot that’ll be the reference material for an artist who is drawing a romance novel cover.”

“You are not. You …are. Really? Oh, I half wanna go along and watch. Please?”

“Does the other half of you want to go to hell?” Steve shifted on the sofa, a faint pink of embarrassment rising on his cheekbones as he smiled up at him.

“No, c’mon; I’ll be good and quiet. Will they have a huge fan to make your shirt blow around suggestively? Will they oil your pecs and your delts and …”

“See?” He went from shifting around to getting up, waving an arm at him. “This is why I don’t tell you things.”

“Sorry,” Danny pulled him in for a quick, tight hug from behind, chuckling. “Don’t walk away mad, buddy. Not my fault it’s this much fun winding you up. Can we please get a drink some night soon? It feels like it’s been a long time.”

“I know, I…” Steve looked for a way around the truth and flinched when he stuttered on the ‘I’ a little. “…it’s been busy lately. But I’d like that.”

“Okay, Fabio. I’m holding you to it.”

~*~

“Hey there, ‘Eno…” 

Steve picked up the cat that skittered his way as he shut his front door that night, both out of habit and to keep it from getting stepped on. ‘Eno’s favorite place in the apartment was wherever Steve was about to put his foot down next.

He popped open a tin of wet food with his free hand and set both her and the plate he poured it onto by the sink. Then he grabbed a beer and drank it, watching her eat. He was a dog guy, but she’d shown up repeatedly in the parking lot outside his apartment complex - half bones, a third fleas and not much else to talk about. 

It happened to be a week when he was hurting too much to ignore her silent pain, the stoic way she’d watch him walk to the building – waiting, never asking.

The cat beat him to the bed, now, but made room when he stretched out. It washed its face while Steve flicked on the TV and sipped beer number two more slowly.

He barely saw the screen. His head was filled with Freddie, or what he could still remember of him. The edges of him got blurrier by the week, as if “Memory Freddie” was getting stretched out, thin and translucent. The fact that Freddie was still right here in L.A., screwing a yoga instructor named Olivia? It didn’t make anything better.

“Enough…”

He said it out loud then closed his eyes, emptied his brain, sighing as thoughts of Danny filled the void – the way his own mood lifted every time he got to a shoot and saw him waiting there; how easy it was to forget the cameras and the crew and lose himself in him; the sight of him on that sofa earlier, head lolling and mouth hanging softly open.

“Oh, hell…” 

‘Eno, not understanding English, mistook the sigh for an invite. She got up and stretched a stiff-legged, shuddering stretch – tail crooked, head pulled in toward her neck – then walked up Steve’s belly and chest and plopped down, purring like a motorboat. 

“So,” Steve smoothed the strip of fur over her eyes and between her ears with his thumb, and she tilted her head at him, squinting. “There’s this guy. At the studio. But he’s got a girlfriend….”


	2. Cornered

It wasn’t fair, feeling so… _conspicuous_. Like people (okay, Steve) could see through him.

They were dressed in jeans and button-downs, lining up with arms around each other’s hips for the first scene of their latest effort. It was a soft-core thing, “Dating a Dude Part VIII.” 

Happily, the plot wasn’t too much of a cheesy nightmare - a simple tale to make the humping sweeter. A bonus: Danny was playing the curious newbie, so he had an excuse if Steve’s slow, gentle advances made him tense up or, God forbid, flub a scene.

It certainly hadn’t ever been a problem before, kissing him. It wouldn’t be today if not for Erica, snoop-girl _Budinsky_ , prop manager and self-appointed _Guardian of Steve_.

Danny forced himself to breathe, relax and…mmmm, better. He sank into Steve’s arms, focused on the feeling of his hands running over his back, his ass. He reached up as Steve dipped in, appreciating Steve’s hungry sound of anticipation as his tongue glided along Danny’s once, lightly, retreating. Oh, yeah, he was playing the part– kissing Danny loose and soft and so full of ‘want to devour you, afraid to scare you away.’

Hell, he felt good. Tasted good. He wanted to devour him back. How could he not have realiz….

“Stop!” Their regular director. Nice guy, bad luck today. “Boom mic is in the frame! Does this look like your high school AV classroom, girls and boys?”

No one moved, including them. Standing there. Arms still lightly around each other and bodies very close wherever Steve wasn’t actually touching him. Danny felt his heart rate rise instead of fall, and moved a few millimeters so Steve wouldn’t feel it too.

“Uh, Frank?” Steve called out. “Hello?”

The fingers of Steve’s right hand randomly dug into Danny’s back – not all sexified, just pressing lightly as he turned to look for their director.

“Yeah, sorry guys. Let’s take five and start over.”

“I gotta make a call,” Steve gave a ‘be right back’ wave as he walked away.

“You’re calling the shirts, aren’t you? They’re so predictable; spend one night with ‘em and they cling like…shirts. Or have you moved on to slacks already, you beast?” 

Steve threw him a ‘screw you’ grin and hell, yeah…that was better. More like them. 

He could get through this. He could hide it. He had to. 

~*~

All Danny wanted to do when he came in early that day was talk with the boss; give him a heads up that he might want to ratchet back on the number of projects he took on.

Erica had buttonholed him first.

 _“You know why he works nineteen hours a day,_ don’t _you? His co-star broke his heart.”_

 _“I did_ not _know. Because we’re guys, Erica – we may each play for both teams, so to speak, but we don’t sit around discussing our feelings or our…”_

_“Well it happened, and all I’m saying is be careful…”_

_“Yeah – uh, still not clear why the hell you’d say that to me. He and I are_ friends. _He knows I’m practically engaged. Hell, he agreed to stand with me at the wedding! And oh, by the way I’m not his next co-star I’m just a part timer making some quick bucks and…”_

_“And how many other actors has the production house paired you with?”_

_“Two.”_

_“When?”_

_“The first couple…weeks. Then…uhn… not….”_

_Not since Steve._

_“And there it is – the light dawns on Mr. Oblivious. Ever watch your own movies?”_

_“No. Most assuredly not. That’d be… yeah, um, no thanks.”_

_“Try it. Boss has a wall full of pre-release review copies.”_

_“He’s a really good actor and I’m pretty competent, too. And that’s all. You’re nuts.”_

_“Just a couple of ‘em, Danny. Watch. And then tell me I’m crazy.”_

He watched. Then sat on the office sofa staring at a point on the floor for five minutes.

How could you not _know_ , when you were doing each other week after week after…

Because you were pros. You kept it all on the set and…

The eye-fucking alone should have told you.

That was Steve; his skills, his well-oiled porn-prince toolbox at work.

Except… 

Danny also watched some of Steve’s DVDs…with other…ummm… yeah. No eye-fucking. None. Steve still did a fine job, but no optic nerve coitus happening there. Not to mention the lack of extra-throaty timbre in his sex sounds saying ‘I want this so bad.’

“Oh, no…” Another realization set in as he heard his co-workers arriving for the day. Steve’s voice was among them, and Danny felt his heart both fall and rise. “Oh, hell.”

~*~

“You okay, buddy?” Steve had asked after the break.

“Yeah. Got a headache. Had a piss-poor night’s sleep and…”

“Tell them you have a stomach flu,” Steve leaned in to say it softly. “They’ve gotta let you take the day if it’s catching. It’s in our contracts.”

“No, thanks. Appreciate it, but I’m good. Let’s …get this done, right?”

~*~

He made it through without embarrassing himself and then took the long way home, driving aimlessly. He could have saved himself the time – Rachel wasn’t home when he got there; still out, as usual, with her work-hard-play-hard corporate colleagues. 

Danny changed into PJ bottoms and grabbed a quick snack. He ate it on the sofa next to the ten-foot long saltwater tank, watching Rachel’s brilliant little captives swim.

They weren’t the only pretty things in sight; the apartment was open plan, floor-to-ceiling windows on one side. It was painted tan, eggplant and deep rusty reds the rest of the way around. Dark floors. The lighting was very Starship Enterprise meets Fringe Alternate Universe. It was gorgeous and… not really ‘him,’ if he was honest with himself.

“So,” Danny licked the last of his peanut butter sandwich off his thumb, talking to the Tassle Filefish floating behind the aquarium glass. “There’s this guy at the studio. But he’s got a broken heart. Which means he’s still in love with someone. And oh, yeah, my girlfriend’s practically planning the wedding, so there’s that….”


	3. Someone else...

“Tony, what the _hell_?” 

Danny charged into the control room.

“Woah, hold up, man…” 

Their producer walked him back into the hall, away from the confused faces of the audio people, technical directors and such.

“I battle the traffic for an hour, and right as I’m parking in the lot _this_ show up?” Danny showed him the text message stating his next shoot was delayed a week. “That’s what I get for being honest about wanting fewer gigs? You jerking my schedule around?”

“Dude, I sent you that message hours ago. Many hours.” Tony was looking him in the eye, zero evasiveness. “Tried to call you first, too, I swear. Got voicemail.”

Danny heard the truth in is voice and stopped fuming, feeling how much he might have over-reacted.

“Sorry. My phone’s acting up. Maybe that’s all it was.”

“Listen, no one will be happier if you stay. Or to have you around when it works for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely. Listen, this shoot? The studio found a kid that’s the real deal. The window to get him signed was small so they put a rush on it, that’s all. Wanna watch his big break?”

Tony waved for Danny to follow him back into the control room and he did - but not because of the shiny new penny he could see standing below them; unruly golden brown hair, tall- a strong body worth maybe murdering over wearing nothing but board shorts and a smile.

He stepped back in, because he saw they had him paired with Steve.

“Everyone a go?” Tony was back on headset with his crew. “In ten, nine, eight…”

Danny had seven seconds to leave, to not stand there and watch it, but he didn’t. 

~*~

The first scene had already been shot. Danny had done enough of these to recognize the signs: The sofa/living room set pushed to the far wall, the bedroom set now center stage. 

They’d probably gone with something along the lines of ‘hanging out after the beach turns sexy’ - not nervous newbie, ‘cause there was nothing nervous about the kid. 

He and Steve had a younger guy/grown man dynamic, though, that was visible at a glance; they probably had Steve lean in, initiate the kiss, get his hands on him first and then show him with his eyes, with his fingers what he wanted back from him. The two of them would have stayed that way, sitting angled forward as Steve pulled him from those shorts and jacked him, sucked him off, the cameras homing in on that pretty face as he lost it.

Danny felt something zing through him at the thought. It was the first time something so hot had felt _not_ good in …ever, maybe. 

But at least it was theoretical – only an image in his head as opposed to the one actually in front of his eyes; Steve stripping them both of their shorts and then pushing him back a step, then another toward the bed. And yeah, the kid was in recovery mode; cock still flushed but at quarter-mast, hand going to Steve’s high, hard erection to tug and twist. Steve rocked into his partner’s fist, getting a handful of the kid’s hair as he did, nipping at and then claiming his mouth, his jawline and neck, using him a little rough to work him back up.

The audio was fairly low in the booth so the crew could hear each other, but Danny caught the edges of Steve murmuring a question as he pushed his partner down to sitting on the edge of the bed, nudging his knees apart. He heard the tight, excited, ‘yes….fuck _yeah_ , I do…” in response, right before Steve urged him to bend forward and open up.

And oh, sweet mouth of barely eighteen-year-old boy, he did _obviously_ love sucking cock; was nose nearly to Steve’s hard abs in four seconds, taking all he could, swallowing around him, bouncing that head what little range he had left as he did. He pulled off long enough to cough and gag, dropping right back as if every struggle and choke he gave up was its own individual thrill running through his body.

Danny could hear Steve loving it; biting back a moan, muttering off short, random words of encouragement, letting his partner run this but visibly fighting the urge to pull back and fuck his face. 

“Uh, are they… script-free here?” Danny got the words out; he wasn’t sure how with his mouth so dry it was stuck together. The director half looked back, nodding.

“Wasn’t exactly time to write one. Besides, we wanna see if the guy can hold his own.”

“Jeez, so they’re just…”

“Fucking,” Tony chuckled, didn’t bother turning back, so didn’t see Danny’s stunned face. “Yeah. You two go script-free on occasion – what’d you think you were doing? Playing checkers?”

That was different… that was _them_. This….was…

He was already intent on getting up and leaving when he saw the crew downstairs shifting, responding to Steve urging his partner up on the bed.

“Face down, c’mon… knees up some more… yeah,” Danny heard that followed by a hard slap to the kid’s ass- not harsh, masterful. Steve was pressing a hand to the guy’s upper back to hold him down while his other hand reached, prepping him quick and messy and not very much before he lined up. 

“I think I’d better… um..” he stood and Tony made a general ‘yeah, okay’ wave and how could these guys watch this every day and not walk around dehydrated? “So, um….see you then.”

He had a hand on the door, but lingered long enough to watch Steve pushing in, barely, to hear him bark ‘say it, tell me ...’ the need in his own voice turning the kid into a begging, babbling mess of ‘fuck me, fuck my ass, c’mon, now…yeah, ahhhuunng…”

They’d never done it this way; Steve pressing the guy down almost flat, fucking him into the bed, hands reaching up to clasp over his as he held on tight and took pretty for a ride.

~*~ 

Danny wasn’t himself the rest of the day, found it impossible to slow his darting thoughts let alone sort them.

There was no question he felt… cheated on? No, that was stupid. Absurd.

Usurped. Except Steve was only doing his job. And Steve wasn’t his.

He might want Steve to be. His. Shit, this was a…. mess.

He thought sure Rachel would call him on it at some point, how distracted he was all night but it didn’t seem to register – she was happy to hold up both ends of the conversation for them; crap about work and her sister’s family problems and they had to plan vacation soon or she’d never get her time request approved.

He normally fell asleep in minutes, but that night it took over an hour.

 

~*~

“Danny?”

He was still half out when he picked up the phone that was jumping, vibrating on his nightstand, but he knew the voice asking the question immediately.

“Yeah, s’me. S’my phone, right?” Why was he being pissy at him? “So, you know, odds are it’s…” 

It was well after midnight, Rachel snoring lightly to his left. 

“I didn’t know you were… uh… there. On set today,” Steve interrupted him, his voice clipped. “I wouldn’t have approved that.”

“You’re _mad_ at me?”

“No,” Steve said and there was a long pause, during which Danny’s heart stopped. “Sad.”

“Why, babe?”

“Because we talk about everything. We collaborate. But we didn’t this time; when I found out about the schedule change I didn’t even call you. I went on with my day and did something else, did what they asked, uh… did…..” 

Another huge pause and Danny filled in the blank; ‘someone else.’

“Plus, we don’t go to games anymore or grab a beer and it’s …my fault. I’ve been avoiding you.”

“Tomorrow,” Danny said. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Having a drink with you. Seven, okay?”

“We’ll go to that place by the thing. You know where I mea…”

“I know.”

“Okay. And don’t worry. We are all kinds of fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, we are.” Danny said.

Steve didn’t make another sound, yet they both knew it was kind of false reassurance. 

They might be fine – they might not be. But at least they didn’t have to wonder when they’d talk about it; they had screwed hundreds of times, and now they had a date.


	4. A little more conversation

“So why’d you quit the Air Force and get in the biz?”

“Not the Air Force, Danny, the U.S. Navy.”

Steve drew out the last few words like Danny really ought to have it down by now.

“Right, whatever – sorry. But tell me.”

They’d both been nervous when they showed up at the outdoor café. It was in a park not far from the studio; a place with a relaxing view of a modern art statue that they’d discussed many times but which still made no sense to either of them, and a series of beautiful fountains - water to gaze on while they drank.

Steve had leaned in for a half hug to say ‘hi,’ and Danny had held it an extra second to say thanks for coming. It had melted the awkward away.

“Well, I loved commanding a unit. But I’d been a cog in a huge wheel for years. I thought the corporate world would be a good path but I hated it. I bounced from job to job, did some modeling. Then, this guy I met….”

“It’s always ‘this guy I met’ isn’t it? And I’m not talking…”

“Right, we were not like that – it was… he simply pointed me to an available gig. It was a way to make very good money fast and I found out I had a talent.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Thanks but stop it. I've been doing it ever since. How did you…”

“I signed on for some quickie porn shoots early in my career as a cop; early web video stuff, low budget. I made enough cash to save up, do better for myself than barely paying the bills. When we moved out here for Rachel’s career it felt like a ticket to what I want.”

“Which is?”

“Save up and go back to school. Because of my years as a cop, it’ll only take about a year to get my P.I. license, open my own business. I don’t want to walk a beat or deal with department politics ‘til I die.”

“Can you do that? Make it a whole business on your own?”

“From what I’ve read, I’d have to generate enough traffic to employ two or three more people. Form a team. I could pull in the kind of bucks Rachel does without the 80 hour work weeks, and then we’ll…” Danny cut off the end of the sentence. They would what? Be happier? Less mildly but constantly stressed when they were together? “I mean, she works a fuck ton right now, but I’m sure once she makes her mark she’ll ratchet back, too. Right?”

Steve started to say something, which was ‘probably not.’ That people are what they…

“Enough about me,” Danny spared him. “Tell me your dream? What you’re saving for.”

“I want to move home. It’s expensive, though, living there. Once I save enough I’ll stop renting out the house my parents left me and go live in it myself.”

“There as in….”

“Oahu.”

“Oh-aaah…. Who?”

“Hawaii, Danny.”

“Oh, God, like… Northeastern center of the pacific, nothing around but pineapples and coconuts and…”

“Those are stereotypes, babe, you better watch it with the…”

“Yeah, I know, but please, what are you gonna do with your life there, seriously?”

“Live. Breathe a little, you know? Surf. Grill out every night. Hang with my friends. Maybe have a good laugh every day like….”

Like I do with you, he didn’t say. Danny couldn’t miss the tone in Steve’s voice when he said it, though; so content. It didn’t sound half….. 

“I can tell you,” Steve said. “I won’t do… _this_. Ever again.”

“Yeah? Even though you make gobs on it?”

“Yup.”

“So it, um… bothers you?”

“It doesn’t…no. It’s a young guy’s game, that’s all. I’m ready for another life. How about Rachel? I’ve always wondered, why does she let you do this?”

“Let me? Like I’m her dog?”

“No, geez, c’mon… I mean why is she okay with it?”

“I used to do mostly boy-on-girl shoots before I met her, but honestly she did specify guys only. She’s fine with me being bi, she’s especially fine with the movie money I bring home as long as it’s not girls I’m doing.”

“Why, because you might…”

“Fall in love with. Yeah.”

“Have you ever…. been in love with….”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Danny was perilously close to feeling as nervous as he’d been walking in. “A month ago I’d have said….”

“Do you love _her_? Rachel?”

Cut to the freaking chase, why don’t you? The question sucked the wind out of Danny’s sails – not so much because Steve had the nerve to ask, but because he’d pondered it himself every other week for a long time now.

He breathed deep and opted for honesty.

“Tell you a secret? I’m not sure I believe in romantic love. I’ve had it and it was great every time until it sucked every time. Now, I’m at a point where…. she and I, you know it’s not all hearts and flowers but we are a team. We’ve got a plan and we are….”

“Stop.” Steve didn’t need to hear more about the kind of thing he would probably never have. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

“How about you? Didn’t know ‘til yesterday you had your heart tap danced on. When?”

“Almost a year ago.”

“So… kinda recent but not too....”

“Feels like forever. What I had with Freddie – I’d never had it before, someone whose heart jumped a little when I walked in the room. Sounds corny as fuck, doesn’t it?”

“No,” Danny thought about the way his had done precisely that at the studio a couple of days before and looked away in case it showed on his face. “Sounds… very reasonable. You deserve it. You should keep looking, not give up.”

“Yeah,” Steve's voice was suddenly deflated. Like he could see Danny doing the math; all the reasons he had to stay with his girl and not, maybe, break Steve’s heart again. Plus, maybe calculating the distance between where they sat and Oahu. “I will, D.”

~*~

Danny barely ‘saw’ a minute of his drive home; he got there by rote, muscle memory. And mile after mile he replayed the conversation. 

It was easy to tell himself he had no choice but to stick to the plan: His girl, their life. Still, it was hard to ignore how good Steve’s dream sounded. Better than what he had? Maybe yes. 

He got home earlier than planned, so when Rachel bounced down the stairs from their bedroom, rosy-cheeked and glowing but looking confused, he only smiled.

“Hey,” he put a little extra something in his voice for her. 

Then his heart shrank as she gaped at him, flinching as someone else bounced down the stairs right behind her.

“Hi, there,” Danny said. 

He thought it was very much to his credit he could do this; not lose his shit, just walk up to the guy, extending his hand. Rachel looked like she might want to puke. 

“I’m Danny. You’re Stan, right? Rachel’s boss?”


	5. Exposed and torn open, gently...

“Steve?”

It was his turn to recognize the voice in his ear and be surprised. The way they’d left each other at the restaurant- it was like they had turned a corner only to find a divide in the road. So why was Danny calling so soon?

“Yeah. It’s my phone, so…” He was mirroring Danny’s words the other night but it only came out sounding bitter, and Steve relented. “What’s up?”

“I need to come to your place. Now. What’s your address?”

Steve couldn’t move; the tone in Danny’s voice was an alarm, but the thought of having him show up was even more alarming.

“McGarrett, I need you. That silence? There _better_ be a reason for it I can deal with or…”

“My place isn’t…” he’d never been to Danny’s or Danny to his. “It’s kind of awful.”

“Is there horse manure on your floors?”

“Uh, what?”

“Seriously, is there raw sewage flowing or visible mold or…”

“No, jeez, Danny it’s clean and decent it’s… really basic. I took a place after the breakup so I’d have somewhere to crash and ...”

“Are you in it?”

“Yeah, I’m in it.”

“Then it’s where I need to be. I don’t give a flying fuck what it….”

Steve could hear how hard he was trying to rein something in. Tears?

“Oh, God, what happened?”

“When I got home… she… uh….wasn’t…. I wasn’t the only guy in our…”

“Son of a…” He’d never had the sensation of wanting to jump through a phone connection before. “I’m sorry. I know exactly what that feels...”

“Address?” Danny gritted out, and Steve gave it.

~*~

If Steve had any thoughts they’d fall passionately into bed the second Danny arrived, they were dashed by the look on his face, the slump in his shoulders.

Steve had taken Danny’s arms in his hands, shaking him lightly.

“Hey,” he looked down into blue eyes full of misery and wanted to maybe shake Rachel instead. Except a lot harder. “You _will_ be okay. I promise- it sucks but you’ll be okay.”

Danny didn’t say anything, just huffed out a sound that said he wasn’t so sure. Steve reeled him in, leaving no room for embarrassment or shame as he squeezed him close.

“Uh,” Danny said eventually, his voice heavy with the tears and confusion. “There’s something moving between my feet.”

“That’d be…” Steve looked down at the skinny half a cat and he flinched. “‘Eno.”

There she was, bony assed butt slinking a tight figure eight around their ankles. Steve felt mortified - for himself and for her, the representation of his miserable life.

“Look at you, fur bear…” Danny scooped her up and had her in one arm, on her back and batting at his fingers with her paws in a flash and Steve felt his mouth falling open. “Pretty girl. Need some more meat on your bones, though.”

“You should have seen her when she showed up.”

“Maybe she’s got a high metabolism. She’s a supermodel…” Danny was letting her catch and bite his fingers, gnaw at them. “She’s a stray, I’m a stray… hell, _you’re_ kind of a stray. Maybe misfits….”

He let the thought go and looked up at Steve.

“You got anything to drink?”

“I polished off the last beer in the fridge yesterday. I have papaya juice.”

“Who the hell drinks papaya juice?”

“People who grew up where it’s really common.”

Danny put ‘Eno down with a couple of scratches behind the ear as he took the glass and Steve bit back a ‘stop’ as Danny started walking toward the living room.

“Holy….” Danny eyed the empty space – bare wood floor, blinds on the window and nothing else. He turned back toward Steve, eyes heavy like he was fighting off tears again. “Well, _that’s_ not acceptable. Not at all. You’ve been living like this since…”

“Every penny I don’t spend…” Steve looked away. “It’s more toward going home.”

“Your dream, right?” Danny said, but his head was still shaking. “Until then you’re, what, gonna live like a nomad? If I’d had any idea…”

“You’d have done what? C’mon….” Steve felt the need to change the mood before it got to him, too. “We’ve sat around talking on beds a hundred times; that’ll work fine.”

~*~

“Maybe I was settling,” Danny put his empty glass on the floor by the bed, since Steve only had the one nightstand and it was on the other side. “But why would she drag me the hell out here if she didn’t….”

“People don’t always plan to break someone’s heart,” Steve shrugged. “Shit happens. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to.”

He didn’t explain that it was either that, or Freddie had been faking it the whole time they were together. Danny seemed to get the gist and the words unsaid.

“When did you realized we might… uh…”

“A few weeks ago,” Steve said. “I started thinking about you more than I did about him. You?”

“Not ‘til this week. It took someone else telling me to back off of you….”

“Erica?”

“Yeah.”

“She means well.”

“She opened my eyes.”

“So …maybe the office snoop comes in handy sometimes.”

Steve had put his glass down, too, somewhere in the exchange, and slid down at almost the same time as Danny. They were on their sides, now, arms around each other, eyes meeting.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Danny said and Steve nodded, kissing his mouth very lightly.

“I know you don’t.”

Steve got an arm around him and pulled them close at the points most necessary, most familiar. They twisted that way for a while, legs twining, kissing slow and deep until Danny broke it sounding almost annoyed.

“If we don’t get naked…. gonna come in my pants.”

The ‘you fucker’ was implied, not said, and Steve chuckled as he pulled back and they helped each other disrobe.

“Better? Like this?” Steve asked as they kissed again, twisting gently once more– like a slow dance done horizontal. 

He’d wondered – hell, they’d both probably wondered – what it would be like, just them and no cameras, no crew. Turned out it was soft and sweet and hungry and needy and …building to something explosive but _so_ not porny.

“Were you thinking of me?” Danny asked half the question, and then gave Steve’s lip a strong bite before he finished. “With pretty boy?”

“No,” Steve didn’t flatter but did bite back, pulling Danny in and getting up over him, elbows digging into the mattress. “I was thinking I’d better get ready…for my job without you. You know?”

They’d just found their angle, slotted together when he said it, cocks sliding and balls slapping and Danny huffed out an ‘I’m sorry’ ‘cause yeah, he had just threatened to leave Steve recently, too, hadn’t he? 

And now? 

Steve broke their rut to reach for his drawer, and he might not have beer but happily he had lube. He’d pulled a condom out, too, but they never had need for it – just the sweet, slick glide against each other; their mouths reaching deep, delving, like they were getting a hundred nights of kissing in all at once. 

Just in case.

"We could be such a good team, you know..." Steve had tried to hold the thought in, but let it go as they were sinking into sleep.

"I know," Danny had said, a little too fast.

~*~

He knew he’d woken to an empty other half of the bed before he even moved.

Funny how you can feel that.

Steve turned and saw the note on the back of a receipt of some sort, something from Danny’s wallet.

“You gave him a chance to explain,” it said. “I’m sure you did. So you’ll get that I have to give her the same.”

He waited for Danny for hours, called him when morning turned to afternoon. Got nothing but voicemail. 

At 4:00 p.m. Eno walked over him still in bed and flopped down on him as was her way. But this time…her eyes looked oddly accusatory.

“Enough,” Steve said in agreement. 

He set her gently down on the floor on the way to the shower. Then he got washed, got dressed, fed her and googled ‘L.A. furniture stores’ on his way out the door.

~tbc~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was struggling to come up with an AU to write for this, then I read my SOJ gift fic which referenced "Love Actually". I decided to glom onto Danny and Steve as the porn couple from that flic, realizing they were falling for each other. The title has little to do with the story - except that I'd be shocked, really, if someone hasn't made a porn yet entitled "Lust Actually" :)


	6. Running away to home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! The last chapter of my SOJ fic for Kaige68 - thank you for your patience, and I hope you enjoy it. Happy New Year!

“For the money you spent on shipping, you’d think the freight company would come open the damn crates and maybe even unpack ‘em for you.”

Steve only grinned at a grumbling, sweating Danny as they tapped at the corners of one side of the huge, wooden container. It fell away with a clattering racket against the truck bed, revealing Steve’s sofa. 

“Wouldn’t you have done as well selling this and buying all new stuff?”

“Probably,” Steve nodded as they prepared to lift and then kept talking as they walked the furniture over his lawn to his house. “Might have been a wash, financially. But I like my stuff. It’s only a few months old. And my buddy Danny made me buy it.”

“Sap.” Danny grunted.

It did look nice along the living room wall, though. 

“Sit. Catch your breath,” Steve went to get them each a glass of water. “The bed’s set up, the chairs get here tomorrow. All that’s left next trip is the crates with the end tables. Really appreciate it, you coming all this way.”

“Any time.” Danny’s voice was sincere but his face was a damp, annoyed mess as he ran an arm over his forehead. “Geez it’s hot. Humid. You don’t have AC?”

“Fans only,” Steve handed over the glass and sat next to him. “It’s a very nice way to live once you get used to it.”

“Hey, scrawny,” Danny kept at the water with one hand, petting ‘Eno’s back as she jumped up and reacquainted herself with ‘her’ sofa. “You survived cargo and quarantine, huh? She been trying to get out of the house at all?”

“Nope,” Steve stepped over to run fingers over her head while Danny scratched at her belly and ‘Eno went into attack mode on both their hands. “She knows she’s got it good. She’s happy sticking around.”

Danny wouldn’t be, though: He was flying back to L.A. in two days. Back to Rachel.

~*~

It had hurt that day Danny left him to talk with her – hurt even more when that day turned into the next with no sign of him. Steve’s phone finally rang as he parked at work.

“She says it was a one-time thing. It’ll never happen again.”

It was good Danny couldn’t see his face. 

‘That’s what they always say,’ Steve didn’t tell him. 

“I get it. I really do. Good luck, okay?”

He’d hung up and ignored the calls that followed, even though he knew it’d only end up one way: With Danny appearing at his apartment door.

“Do _not_ push me away. We’re friends and there’s no reason we can’t stay…”

“Yeah there is. The reason is no. Listen, you were honest with me – not like my ex, and I’m not pissed, Danny, not even a little. But I can’t go back to ‘only friends’ mode. Can you, really?”

Danny apparently not only could- he insisted on it, fought for it, kept at him until it was the new normal. 

It helped that Danny was officially out of the business and in school. And when he let him know he was quitting, too, and moving home ten years sooner than planned, Steve’s friend was happier than anyone for him.

“Of course I’m helping you move. There are things too big to take on alone.”

He’d said yes and thanks, but wondered if Danny got it – that he was maybe taking on the rest of his life alone. The move? That was nothing. That was only geography.

~*~

“Okay, I kind of get it,” Danny’s eyes stayed on the beach, the water. “It’s very beautiful here.”

They were sitting, backs to a beach bar on Kalakaua Avenue, having a drink and contemplating the ‘grill your own steak’ special. Danny had been good with simply hanging on Steve’s lawn, but Steve wanted to share the place he’d grown up with him.

“It’s not perfect, not heaven the way some people think. But …no matter if I leave for a month or five years, when I get back it always feels right. Like home.”

“The way Jersey used to feel to me,” Danny said. “Now, L.A. doesn’t really feel like home. And when I go see my folks… it’s good, don’t get me wrong. But it only feels like the past. I think… I might not have a ‘home’ anymore.”

It took everything Steve had not ask how things were with Rachel. He couldn’t help noticing Danny hadn’t said, or how he barely mentioned her anymore when they hung out. If they were really just buddies again – shouldn’t he be able to say? And if things were good, shouldn’t L.A. feel like home?

All he knew was he had one friend in life, and he only had him because Danny wouldn’t give up on him.

So he drank his drink and kept his mouth shut.

~*~

The morning he left, Steve drove him to the airport very early and then went straight to a job interview – exactly what he wanted, a managerial opportunity overseeing a security team at one of the resorts. It took some of the sting out of the hug goodbye, out of being alone.

When his phone rang late that afternoon, his heart rose. Maybe he could tell him all about how well it had gone, how hopeful he felt.

Hope changed to feeling a little foolish when it wasn’t him. The fact it was the hotel calling back for a second interview asap? As in tomorrow, please? That helped all over again. 

“Yes, see you then. Looking forward to it.” 

Steve hit ‘call end’ and stared at the phone, resisting the urge to phone him. His plane would have landed only about six hours ago. Calling would be asinine. It’d be needy.

He shoved the phone in his pocket and walked from his backyard into his house.

He’d taken it back out twice, was just putting it on a bookshelf so he wouldn’t be tempted beyond his ability to resist when he saw him. Not in L.A. On his couch. Looking shell shocked and scared and something else Steve couldn’t identify.

“Uh… Danny? What the hell?”

“I asked her if she missed me,” Danny said it like he was thinking it aloud as much as saying it to him. “I paid the cabbie and went into our place, dropped my bag and I said, ‘hey, honey, did you miss me?’ And she said ‘no, I didn’t.’ I’d just finished kissing her on the cheek and she said…”

“Are you freaking serious?”

“She’d been going through the motions. Because we had a plan and she thought…that I wanted the plan; the big wedding and the dinner parties and the married couple friends and her VP lifestyle. But then when I was away and it didn’t matter to her….when _I_ didn’t matter to her….”

“Danny, I’m so sorry. That must have been…”

“A huge damn relief. We’re talking a freaking elephant off my chest,” Danny still looked shell shocked, but like he was starting to surface. “So I dumped all the stuff in my suitcase in the hamper and I packed a fresh bag and I went back to the airport. I was there, like, maybe an hour and a half after I’d landed.”

“Why?” 

“Because I’ve been a coward. I wanted to say that to you, and not on the phone. I was afraid to start a new life, to take on so much change. I didn’t think I had it in me. But now… I have to know – do you really think we can do this? Do you think there’s even a five percent chance we can have a life together?”

“Of course, we can,” His voice was heavy – with a little hurt, but also with hope. “You know we can, Danny. Or you wouldn’t be here.”

Steve had more to say, but then Danny was off the couch and in his arms and he let it go.

~*~

The first time they’d slept together, just them and not a gig, it had been slow and easy and sweet. It was more feverish this time; a scramble up the stairs, then clothing being tugged apart, a needy edge in their long, deep, kiss. 

Danny had broken away long enough to very gently pick ‘Eno up, deposit her in the hall and shut the bedroom door. Steve was out flat waiting for him when he walked back and Danny got up over him, dipping in to lick and suck at his mouth.

“Missed your tongue. Missed your hands, your cock, your…”

Steve flipped them and got them aligned, grinding until they were both panting and grunting, wordless.

“Do you have … uh… stuff?” Danny got that much out and Steve flopped, swearing.

“No. Sorry. I don’t.” 

“Seriously?”

“Would you rather I did? Would it be better if I’d gone through a ton of condoms and a whole bottle of lube with someone else the past two weeks?”

That got a deep, dirty laugh out of Danny.

“I would tip my hat to you, sir.”

“Liar,” Steve bolted to the bathroom and was back in seconds with a jar of Vaseline.

“Ew.”

“You’re assuming it’s going in you,” Steve tossed the cap and handed the jar to him.

“And… it’s not?” Danny’s grin was replaced by a surprised but pleased confusion.

“Yeah, uh… at work they had me top for reasons – like pretty camera angles. Right? But in real life, D? I’m a very dedicated and enthusiastic bottom.”

“Kill me now…” 

The grin was back and Danny was over him, and life—it was suddenly a whole lot better looking than it was twelve hours ago.

“Son of a….” Danny huffed later, as he fucked him, with Steve folded almost in half to accommodate for their relative body sizes. “It’s like climbing a …very… muscley…tree.”

Steve hadn’t laughed right before he came in a very long time.

~*~

“C’mon, down your breakfast and let’s get going,” Steve just nodded and kept reading over the financial spreadsheet. “We’ve got work to do today, right?”

He’d felt like he had to stay at the hotel security gig he’d gotten for at least a year, he owed them that much. It had worked out perfectly: Danny needed the time to finish his P.I. classes and do the legal things needed to start his detective agency.

Now Steve would run it for him, and help with cases. Danny would do the detective work.

“We definitely have enough to take on one person full time and one part time," Steve noted. "Maybe two full time if one of them is, say, right out of school and not looking to make the kind of money someone with five years in the field might earn…”

“You said you have some thoughts about the full-timer?” Danny was tying his sneakers, searching up his keys. 

“Yeah,” Steve shut down the computer. “A guy who used to work with my dad before he passed – good man, but had some problems within HPD. I called him yesterday, let him know we might be coming by…”

“Great,” Danny took the info about their prospective colleague that Steve had printed out. “Let’s go talk with Mr. Chin Ho Kelly, then….”

 

~fin~


End file.
